I am whore! When people ask me how many men I have slept with, I tell them “2708 men excluding women”. The look on their face is always priceless and they go on to give me a speech about how I have been useless all my life. Some of them go the extra mile to tell me to give my life to christ and retrace my steps so I can get married and have kids. One time, a man told me I may not be able to have kids in the future as I had sinned too much and not kept my temple holy. I do find it funny that people are quick to shame me based on my sexual choices as a woman while cheering on a man who was the same body count as I do.
I grew up in a religious home. My parents attended The Lord’s Chosen and my mom was a fanatic for the church and its doctrines. The only sex education I got was one which relied greatly on abstinence. My mom would always sound it in my ears that I had to be a virgin. To her, virgins were entitled to a special kind of blessing from God and a sweet lasting marriage.
When I was 17, I had sex with a man who was way older than I was. He touched my boobs in the stairs and gave me gifts at every turn. I would admit that the situation which I grew up in didn’t teach me how to say “No” without feeling bad. It has taken me a good number of years to set boundaries and shun the things I do not like without being ridden by guilt.
After my first sex experience which should be considered as rape in every sane country, I went through bouts of emotional breakdown. I had done something which society frowned at and I needed time to accept it. One would expect that I would never repeat such action anymore but I only went ahead to have more sex and do all sorts of stuff mom and church told me not to do. I never got any form of sexual education so you should know I made a lot of mistakes (which I love to call lessons)
I am not a whore because I have slept with the fictional amount of men ( yes, 2708 men is a fictional figure) although I have slept with a good amount of people. I am a whore because I talk about sex too often.
A good number of adults in Nigeria are having sex but as long as they don’t talk about, it is fine. Nigerians talk about sex. They talk about how sex is like an exercise for men. They talk about how it is okay for men to have as much sex as they want while they tell women to keep themselves. They talk about how rape is caused by women seductive dressing. They talk about how any woman with more than 1 body count is not wife material. They talk about how women privates can be used as a collateral for jobs and favors. They talk about how any woman who has had sex before should not cry rape if a man takes her against her will.
As long as you talk about sex the same way they are accustomed to then you are fine. For a while now, I have been talking differently about sex on Facebook. When Instablog9ja and other media carried one of my posts, people slut-shamed me.
I have come to realize that slut-shaming is only offensive when the victim feels hurt. I do not feel hurt.I am a whore…I said it. I sleep with men and talk about sex shamelessly on my blog in ways that really matter.